A Recipe For Disaster
by Nobody13Xlll
Summary: Three Stymphalian bird eggs? A vial of Medea's potion? Demeter's secret stash of goodies? What's Percy up to and why is he dragging Nico around the country, claiming it's all part of the biggest quest of all time? What trick's does ol' Seaweed brain have up his sleeves now and what was that part about Italian speaking hotties and tattoos? Happy Mother's Day Everybody!


**Disclaimer, I don't own Percy Jackson**

* * *

 **A Recipe For Disaster-Peekaboo**

"Come on, Torque and Sump aren't going to be long for long!" Percy whispered, charging out of the alley and rushing into the dark entrance of the car factory.

"Percy!" I hissed, glancing around at the cyclops still in sight and dashing after him.

This was all ridiculous. Then again, so was Percy, which was probably how I got dragged into all this. I still hadn't learned how to say no to those baby seal eyes of his. Not that I was ever really tried that hard to resist them in the first place.

My boyfriend motioned for me to catch up, ducking behind some machinery and peering into the darkness of the factory. Leo had been the one to mention Ma Gasket and her piece of the puzzle that Percy needed for his quest, and so we had made our way to her home in Detroit, staking the factory out until we saw all the cyclops and new what we were dealing with.

I padded over, feeling at ease in the shadows as I crept over and peered over his shoulder. The center of the factory had been swept clean- well, of machinery at least. Piles of junk littered the ground though, piles of old mattresses and sofas making up oversized furniture for the monsters, and a jury rigged projector and speaker system playing Judge Judy for the sleeping form of Ma Gasket.

The cyclops was draped over a pile beanie bags, snoring loudly while her chainmail muumuu rustled under her. She'd spent the last few hours howling at her son, making them pick up and do their chores, before finally collapsing and sending them out to get more salsa.

"There it is!" Percy whisper-shouted in my ear, eagerly pointing towards an enormous makeshift fridge bolted to the floor.

Ma Gasket snorted in her sleep and I grabbed Percy by the wrist, pulling a finger to my lips and trying to shush him. Percy rolled his eyes and grinned, poking me in my side. I had to stifle a yelp as he hit a bundle of nerves, biting my lip to keep from laughing.

He gave me a wink then threw himself over the machinery conveyor belt with a hasty "Race you there!"

I deadpanned, melting into the shadows and rematerializing next to the fridge, crossing my arms and waiting as Percy stalked over. He pouted when he saw me and I smirked, sticking out my tongue and putting my hands on my hips.

"You cheated!" He accused, pulling us over to the front of the fridge.

"There are rules to this game?" I asked coyly, entwining our fingers when our hands met.

Percy just grinned at me, leaning in and giving me a quick Eskimo kiss before focusing back on the fridge. He studied it for a few longs seconds, reaching out to give the giant door an experimental tug before frowning.

"I didn't think it was going to be so… big." He confessed, biting his lip and looking worried.

"They're fully grown cyclops, of course it's going to be big Percy. Now how do we get in, didn't you have a plan already?"

I face palmed the second the words left my mouth. This was Percy I was talking about, he never had a plan. Oh well, my hero always came up with something in the end. Even if it blew us up or ended with a lot of internal bleeding. Maybe I should take over here actually.

The door was practically locked closed. It took all of Percy and I had to finally pry it open a little. He managed to stick Riptide in the crack and use it as a lever to jimmy open the fridge enough for us to get in.

The fridge light popped on as I squeezed my way in, illuminating the different levels of the machine. It was practically two stories tall, with various racks holding cows, sharks, giant tubs of mayonnaise, and hotdogs bigger than I was. I scrunched up my nose at the smell of rotten food, glancing around for the prize. The sooner I got out of here the better.

"Do you see it?" Percy poked his head in, then went back out making sure the coast was clear.

I waved him off, walking in and starting to search in earnest. Come on where was it? Giant carton of milk, no. A dumpster full of lasagna, definitely no. A cheese wheel the size of my head? Come on, where was it?

"I can't find any of them!" I called back as I worked my way up to a higher rack.

Percy glanced around, before using Riptide to prop open the door. He ducked under his blade and hopped in, whistling as he got his first good look around.

"This place is bigger than my cabin." He muttered, doing a quick run around before working his way up.

"Look out, something smells really bad over there!" I warned as he went past the cheese wheel.

Percy gave me a thumbs up and retreated, crawling up to meet me halfway. We searched for a good five minutes to no avail, finally giving up. We plopped down on the edge of a rack and let our legs dangle over the edge, frowning around at the small area.

"They have to be here, nobody else has them!" Percy went on.

Oh Percy. This whole quest had been his idea, a crazy, insane quest with an amazing payoff at the end. He'd been willing to go through six trials on his own before I caught wind of it and made him take me along to make sure he didn't get himself killed.

But that was Percy. He'd do anything for the people he cared about, and if this quest did what he hoped it would, he'd go to the ends of the earth to make sure it happened. Which is ironically most of the places he'd been so far.

"We'll find them, don't worry." I promised, giving him a playful punch.

Percy nodded and gave me a content smile, before his eyes locked onto something behind me and got wide.

"Found them!"

Percy leapt to his feet and charged over, sliding up to a surprisingly normal sized carton of eggs. I think it was the fact that there were about five hundred that made up for the small size. Percy slid to a stop, snatching one up and peering inside.

"Is it them?" I came up behind him, standing on tiptoe to see over his shoulder.

I hated being shorter than him, I still feel like a kid, even though if we're talking about maturity I'm leaps and bounds ahead. Then again being short he had to lean down to kiss me, and that had led to a lot of cute moments…

"Yep!" Percy said proudly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I hid a quick blush, putting those thoughts away for later and glanced down at the metallic bronze eggs inside. Those were the ones alright. Only three more things left.

"How many do we need?"

Percy shrugged, opting instead to shove the whole carton into his backpack- a special designed case from Leo that was supposed to keep its contents safe. Or set fire to the sun. He hadn't been sure when he handed it over, saying something about it still being in experimental mode. I really needed to keep an eye on him and my boyfriend.

"Let's get out of here." Percy said, hopping down and tugging at his sword.

"Percy you might want to wait until we're-" I started, but with a final wrench the sword came out, and the door swung shut, putting us in total darkness and locking us in to boot "Out of the fridge before you do that."

"Oh. Right." Percy mumbled, his voice echoing eerily through the void.

At least, it was probably a void for him. One of the perks of being a son of Hades was I controlled the shadows, and more than that, nowadays I could see in them if I liked. The lights might as well still be on to me, even if to my boyfriend who was currently stumbling around and running into the milk jug repeatedly it was pitch black.

I had to smirk a little, vanishing and rematerializing right beside him. I poked his side and he whirled around looking startled.

"Neeks is that you?"

I blinked back up to the rack, grinning down at him and calling "Still up here babe. What's up?"

"Um… nothing. Just thought I… never mind. You think you can get us out of here?"

Oh definitely. But maybe in a minute, this could be fun.

"Sure, let me try something!" I shouted down.

It wasn't a total lie. I mean, I didn't try to get out, but I did come up behind him, ghosting a finger down the back of his neck. Percy tensed and jumped back.

"Nico I know that was you!" He frowned, trying to hide a smile and sound annoyed.

I was back up on the rack again, doing my best to give an aggravated sigh.

"I'm still up here Seaweed Brain. See?" I tapped the rack beside me to make a point.

"Well somebody touched me."

I waited a few seconds, stifling a smile and glancing over at one of the dead cows. Should I be mean? Definitely.

"Maybe some of this stuff's not really dead."

Percy looked up at the sound of my voice, blinking and looking wide eyed. One of the deceased cows on the rack beside him twitched, its tail slapping lazily and a hollow moo escaping its lip.

"Holy cow!" Percy yelped, jumping to the side.

"If it's come back to life I think it's more like zombie cow Perce." I jeered, letting the cow rest in peace.

I bounced back down, reaching out to scare him. My hand was only a hairs breath away when Percy shot around, catching me off guard. I gasped as he grabbed my arm, pulling it around his neck and crashing our lips together, giving me a hungry kiss. I let go, eagerly kissing back, the taste of sea clashing on my tongue as I pulled in closer, wrapping my other arm around his neck and leaning up on tiptoes.

Percy grinned into me, pulling away after a few seconds to let me pant for breath.

"Got you." He whispered, arms coiling around my waist.

"Darn, whatever will I do?" I mocked, grinning back at him.

"I've got a few ideas Neeks." He winked.

Now that might be fun. But the moment got cut a little short. The fridge door suddenly clicked open and one of the cyclops boys looked in, his one eye blinking when he saw us.

"Uh…" He said, not seeming to know what to think.

"Every time it's a cyclops" I groaned, letting my head fall against Percy's chest.

"Oh come on, Tyson only came in that one time!" Percy protested.

The cyclops looked over his shoulder shouting "Ma there are demigods in our fridge! I think they was fooling around!"

"Now might be a good time to go."

I nodded, leaning back up on tiptoe and starting that kiss again before the shadows spun up around us. And then we were gone.

 **A Recipe For Disaster- Side Effects May Vary**

"Dude this place is huge!"

I just nodded mutely, staring out across the multi-story underground mall. How were we supposed to find anything in this place? Gods this could take days, I didn't even know where to start! Jason and Piper had brought this one up, mentioning how Medea's secret superstore paradise had practically everything you could think of.

The place was still 'under construction' after they'd broken out last time, but you honestly wouldn't know. Medea had been busy, the place looked like the home of a couple billionaires. The witch responsible for all this work was nowhere in sight luckily, only a few ragtag monsters in security outfits wandering around the levels aimlessly.

This was not going to be easy. We had to be really careful here, if Medea found us then things would get messy fast. Hazel and Piper had managed to combine a few of their tricks to keep us safe from her CharmSpeak and some of her magic, but I wasn't willing to find out how much.

No we just needed to get in, get out and be quiet. Now we had to be careful not to do anything stupid or do anything like separate or…

Uh oh. I whirled around, groaning when I realized that Percy had already run off. Yep. This was going to be a cakewalk alright. Maybe I could sweet-talk my dad out of bringing us back to life after Percy got us killed.

I was torn between where to go, finally going left, checking in the various store fronts and trying to find my boyfriend. I did my best to stay out of sight, ducking and dodging the monsters that came by, hoping Percy wouldn't do anything stupid. Well, anything more stupid than he already had.

I flattened myself against a stand in the middle of a walkway, holding my breath as a monster walked past. I was just starting to move when I heard an impatient sigh from the other side. I tried to freeze up, but it was too late. My boot squeaked against the shining tiles, and I heard steps on the other side.

I had to move I had to get away before I got spotted, otherwise Percy would be in danger! The shadows were charging in on me, I was vanishing, and then-

"Oh hey love."

I blinked a few times, finding smiling sea green eyes looking down at me.

"Percy?" I asked, my brain still trying to catch up.

Percy nodded, then went back to the other side. I threw up my hands in exasperation, rushing around to the other side.

"Percy we were supposed to stick together! And what were you doing? I don't know how that monster didn't see you, you're going to get us caught!"

Percy looked confused. "The monster? Oh you mean Phil. Great guy, he's actually working here part time to pay off his wife's school debt. He told me we needed to head here to find it."

Percy tapped on the sign, which actually turned out to be a sign. I was still running a little behind everything.

"Phil? Paying off his… I don't… what…. How did you…? Ungh, I give up." Leave it to Percy to take a top stealth break in and make friends with the guards. Hell, he'd probably given him a tip or a candy bar for helping him find out where to go.

"That's the spirit." Percy ruffled my hair before heading off towards the elevator.

I flinched as we passed more monsters, but Percy just smiled and waved, the guards nodding politely as we moved on. I still didn't know how he managed it, but things always worked in his favor.

"Ah here we are!" He announced, slowing to a stop in front of 'Medea's Mystique'.

The store was full of bubbling cauldrons, purple flamed torches, and various charms and spell books. Smoke filled the air, and chills ran up my spine as I saw some of the symbols etched in the wall. I'd hung out with Lou Ellen enough to know which ones were hexes and curses, and I was looking at some pretty nasty ones right now.

"Shouldn't we be worried? About the guards or Medea? I mean I know you're all best buddies with Phil after five seconds, but I think we should be careful!" I objected as Percy stomped in, poking a finger in the cauldrons and coughing as he got a face full of smoke.

Percy just waved my worries away as he started searching around the vials and potions explaining "The guards don't get paid enough to worry about us. And Medea's getting her nails done on the other side of the mall, we have more than enough time to find it."

I groaned, glancing back longingly at the entrance. Why was I getting the feeling that something was going to go wrong? Probably because I'm life's idea of a practical joke and my boyfriend's a lightning rod for bad luck and trouble. Aren't we just the perfect couple?

I looked over at Percy, who was laughing at his reflection in a beaker, leaning in and out, watching it morph and bubble. I had to smile, leaning back and taking in the sight. Yes. Yes we were the perfect couple. I bumped something behind me and swung around to steady it, only to smile wider. Speaking of perfect...

"I think I've got it."

Percy stopped messing around with his reflection and jogged over, studying the seven capped beakers of blue liquid suspended in the air above the table. Percy frowned, straining his eyes to read the labels of each one.

"Dang it, she had to put it all in cursive didn't she? Stupid dyslexia." He pulled one in close, mouthing out different combinations and trying to get the letters to click.

We spent the next few minutes going over the seven, trying to figure out which one was the right one. At least, Percy was. I didn't bother. I could barely even read regular English, I wasn't even going to try my hand at cursive.

"I think this is it." He exclaimed, lifting one up in triumph.

Our victory didn't last long. A second later a haughty voice sounded from the entrance calling in "You're right, this is it. I am never letting any more of you demigods sneak back into my store!"

I spun around, catching Medea in my sights. The sorceress was glaring in at us, hands on her hips until she raised them, mist appearing as she started to bring up a spell.

"Duck!"

I pushed Percy out of the way as purple lightning flashed through the air where he had just been standing. Percy yelped, groaning as he ended up losing his grasp on the beaker. It collided with the others, sending them clattering to the ground around us.

I was too preoccupied to pay too much attention as Percy scrambled to find the right one, opting instead to send a wave of shadow at the witch. She gave a howl and stumbled back while I turned back to Percy.

"We need to go!" I ordered, trying to pull him up.

Percy looked up to me, face panicked, then back to the scattered bottles. I moaned in exasperation and grabbed them all before catching the neck of his shirt and ragging him towards the other exit and racing down the hallway.

"We need to find out which one is which!" Percy hollered, trying to pry one of them from my grasp.

"Why? We can just take them all and get out of here!"

Percy vehemently shook his head, pulling us around a corner and jogging down the stairs.

"No, Phil warned me about a shoplifting spell Medea put up, you have to leave enough money for what you take. I saw those prices, I've only got enough for one, and we need the right one!"

I groaned, shoving one into Percy's hands.

"Well how do you want to find out?"

Wrong question. I gasped in horror as Percy uncorked the beaker and took a swig of the blue mixture within, before recorking the vial.

"Percy! What if that was poison?" I wanted to shake him or slap him, but I wasn't going to risk it in case he really did die.

"Well how else was I supposed to find out?" Percy complained starting to bounce down the steps.

It took me a few seconds to realize that Percy wasn't actually moving as he bounced, his legs were still standing perfectly still, but his momentum was carrying him down the stairs, bouncing up and down as we kept going.

Percy noticed to, trying an experimental leap and letting out a whoop as he shot into the air, doing a somersault before coming back to the ground, bouncing again and again.

"Dude this is so cool! You've got to try one!"

I gave the potions a dubious look. They didn't look poisonous. Maybe there was one that would fix Percy. Dang it why did dating him have to come with all this drama? Gods don't let me be poisoning myself.

I uncapped a beaker and took a gulp, wincing at the taste as it went down. I didn't feel any different. That was a good sign right?

"Get them you ingrates!" I heard Medea call from above.

The sound of running feet caught my attention, and I turned back, seeing a pair of guards rushing towards us. So much for not being paid enough to care.

"I got this!" Percy cried, bouncing his way over and cannonballing into one of their chests.

They went down in a heap, while the other kept charging straight at me. I was reaching for my sword when a foreign instinct took over. Before I knew what I was doing, my leg was flying up and around, my foot cracking against the guards head. He fell back and I shot forward, dealing a strange jab to his chest, easily moving to the side as he swiped at me and dealing palm slam to the side of his head. He fell down and I stared at my hands.

"Dude." I glanced up, seeing Percy on the ground in a pile of gold dust staring up at me reverently with wide eyes "You know Kung Fu."

Oh so that's what that was. Not half bad actually. I should have brought cash to pay for some of this myself.

"I want to try some!" Percy grabbed at another beaker and took a big gulp, starting to bounce excitedly, trying out experimental swings and poses.

But then he stopped bouncing, standing still. Instead. I think it was the potion, it must cancel out the last one you take. But what was this one going to do? A blast of lightning shot over our heads, and I ducked, seeing Medea racing down the stairs towards us.

"Time to move!" I said, pushing Perce around.

It was strangely easy, he seemed a lot easier to manhandle than he usually was. I was practically dragging him along as we ran, ducking around corners and finally escaping into an elevator. It was there that I finally saw the effects of the potion.

Percy frowned as I burst out laughing, glaring up at me.

"What? What did it do? And did that potion make you taller?"

I just grinned, waiting for it to hit him. A dawning horror spread across his face and he whirled around, whining when he saw he'd shrunk, the effects keeping him just a few inches shorter than me.

"So not cool!" He pouted, stamping his foot and crossing his arms.

"Ah, is somebody throwing a temper tantrum?" I teased.

He glared at me and shoved another vial in my face. I smirked, ruffling his hair and taking out my phone, snapping a quick selfie of us with our new heights before he could object. Percy was still threatening me when I tasted the new potion.

This one was spicy, I felt like it was lighting me up from the inside. It turned out I was half right. As we ran out of the elevator, glowing sigils and symbols started shining under my skin, their colors shifting as I looked.

"Whoa." Percy said, licking his lips "You're hot with tattoos."

I rolled my eyes, storing the comment for later and shoving a potion into his hands as we kept running. We needed to hurry up, I could hear Medea gaining on us.

"Well what do you think? Am I taller yet? Lo non voglio essere più breve di nuovo."

I slowed to a stop, casting Percy an uncertain look. "Excuse me?"

Percy gave me a confused frown. "Cosa?"

No way. Oh damn if this was what I thought it was…

"Qual è il tuo nome amore?" I asked, switching to Italian.

"Percy Jackson, perché?" Percy asked. His eyes went wide, finally hearing what he was saying. "Niente da fare, io parlo italiano? Impressionante!"

Impressionante indeed. I needed to get him to speak the language more, coming from him it was like hearing an Adonis sex god whispering in my ear.

"Ecco, io sono il grande e potente doofus mare!"

An Adonis sex god with the maturity of a four year old.

We stopped around a corner to catch our breath and I glanced at the last two beakers. One of these had to be the right one, but which was which? I had a fifty fifty chance to either get what we had come for, or be some horrible potion science experiment.

Oh well, here we go. I took a gulp, tensing up and preparing for the effects. But this one was different than the rest. It soothed the spicy feeling inside me and made the tattoos fade away. I tested myself a few times, glancing in the nearby windows to see my reflection, but in the end I was pretty sure I'd just found the cure for the potions.

Now the only question was if I was actually going to give the cure to Percy. It was kind of kink hearing talk like that after all. Unfortunately he seemed to put two and two together, snatching it out of my hand and eagerly sipping it down.

He waited a few seconds before testing his voice, letting out a sigh of relief when he realized it was his normal language again. Oh well, it had been amazing while it lasted.

"That means this is it!" Percy beamed, holding up the last beaker.

He uncapped it and took a small, experimental sip, before his face lit up and he nodded eagerly and gave me the thumbs up before pulling a few drachmas from his pocket.

"Finally, let's get going!"

I nodded reluctantly, flinching as Medea came running around the corner. I pushed Percy into the shadows and grabbed the drachmas as he vanished into the darkness, whirling and stomping up defiantly to the witch.

She looked taken aback, slowing down and giving me a wary look as I extended the handful of drachmas towards her.

"This should pay for the one he took. Sorry about the mess."

She snatched the coins from her hand, counting them carefully before giving me a dismissive wave and starting to turn around.

"Um… by the way, just out of curiosity, how much would it be to order in some of that Italian stuff? And maybe a permanent batch?"

* **Lo non voglio essere più breve di nuovo-** I do not want to be short again, **Cosa** -What, **Qual è il tuo nome amore** -What's your name love, **Niente da fare, io parlo italiano? Impressionante** -No way, I speak Italian? Awesome, **Ecco, io sono il grande e potente doofus mare** \- Behold, I am the great and powerful sea doofus

 **A Recipe For Disaster-You Stink**

"Perhaps you should do this part on your own." I whispered, nervously edging away from the giant barn.

We were out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by dense farmland on all sides. In front of us towered an enormous bright red barn, easily the size of gymnasium. I was the one who'd helped Percy find this place, and I wasn't crazy about coming here.

Why you might ask? Because the owner was one of three people who either had tried or succeeded in turning me into a plant on various occasions. And seeming's as how this was Demeter's barn, I doubted she would be too happy about me breaking in.

Percy snorted, making his way towards the oversized door.

"Oh please, Aunt D loves me, I'm sure she won't mind us borrowing what we need."

Oh sure. That's all fine and dandy for you. She doesn't have a grudge against your very existence or try and make you pull a plow and do farm work. I shivered at the memories, reluctantly following Percy in as he pulled the door to the side.

I'm not sure what I expected to be in the barn of the goddess of agriculture. Probably a small Amish community or an army of angry farmers. I was not expecting cows so big that they could crush Mrs. O'Leary like a bug under their hooves. They were all corralled against the far wall in rectangular stalls, munching on various feed buckets and mooing gently.

There were piles of hay, grain, giant stacks of chicken eggs, and the walls were lined with pristine, yet well-worn farm tools. It was like something you'd see in Farmer's weekly, the picture perfect nitty gritty set up, efficient yet old fashioned.

"Let's see. Cows, hay, alfalfa, eggs, molasses, weed killer, gasoline, hoe, lawn mower… ah ha!"

I sighed in relief as Percy walked over to two miniature silos big enough to hide a few people in. The sides were labeled 'sugar' and 'flour' respectively, and a ladder led to their exposed contents. I guess this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Keep lookout I'll get the goods." Percy commanded, scaling up the ladder and pulling out two jars from his backpack.

I nodded obediently and turned around, fidgeting as I anxiously kept glancing back and forth from the front door to the back door. It was near ten o'clock now, the chances of Demeter actually showing up were slim to none, but I still cringed every time the giant cows got to loud.

I tried to calm down and paced back and forth, coming over to the stables and glancing in at the cows set up, then walking back to the flour and back. Percy was had just filled up a jar full of flour when the door at the far end of the bar rattled. We froze, exchanging panicked glances.

"Hide!" Percy hissed.

I was frozen to the spot while Percy dived headfirst into the flour barrel, vanishing out of sight in a poof of while powder. The door was opening, I could see Demeter, her face still pointed away from me. I had to move fast!

I leapt in through the cracks into the cows stable and charged behind a giant pile of dirt, diving in face first. Have I mentioned that I'm kind of life's idea of a practical joke? I have? Oh good. Because I am. How do I know this? Because I didn't just dive face first into a pile of dirt. That's right folks, Nico Di Angelo just belly flopped into a giant pile of manure.

I think my life just reached a whole new level of depressing.

I could hear Demeter rattling around, cursing about late night work and taking down various tools. After a few minutes she said Farwell to her animals and with a snap of her fingers turned out the lights, leaving only the light from the skylight high above to illuminate the room below.

I disentangled myself from the pile, keeping my arms outstretched and trying not to breathe or smell or open my eyes or mouth too much. Gods I hated life so much right now.

"Nico? Neeks where'd you go?"

I slid my way back out reluctantly, wanting to die as I emerged into the light. Percy plopped down on the ground, crinkling his nose as he caught the smell.

"Did you-"

"I don't want to talk about it." I snapped.

Percy gave me a sympathetic smile and glanced down at himself. He was stained pure white, the flour making him look like some kind of pathetic wannabe ghost in the moonlight. He laughed at his appearance a second before motioning for me to come closer. When I didn't he sighed and raised his hands.

Water shot out from his spread palms, catching me off guard and sending me stumbling to the floor. It washed over me, only it didn't puddle off. It pooled over my skin, the water churning and scrubbing, taking the unsavory material and pushing it outside. I held my breath as it washed over my skin, pulling the last of it off, before finally draining away from me.

I shied away once I was free, giving the bubble of poop a wide berth as Percy manipulated it back into the cows stall, letting it pop and meld with the rest.

"Thanks." I mumbled, trying not to meet his eyes.

Percy pulled the same stunt on himself, tossing the pale water aside and offering me a hand up. I took it gladly, still avoiding his gaze.

"Hey." He caught me by the chin and smiled, giving me a quick kiss "I do dumb stuff all the time, don't sweat it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

I deadpanned and crossed my arms in disbelief.

"Percy I jumped headfirst into a pile of dung."

"You were trying to be sneaky though." He protested.

I just glared at him unconvinced. Finally Percy shrugged and turned his back to me.

"Fine be that way. What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"That was the truth babe." Percy shot back, scooping the second jar full of sugar "You want more of it though? Take a shower, you stink. Like honestly, you smell like crap."

I rolled my eyes at his honesty. Gods why did he have to be like that, so nice. And worse, why did I have to feel sort of guilty now, even if he did just tell me I smelled.

I gave him a coy smirk and helped him put the jars away, leaning up and whispering "Maybe you're right, I could use a shower. Care to join me?"

Percy nearly lost his grip on the jar, before smirking back at me, opening his mouth to reply when something big groaned in the corner.

We spun around, seeing what had looked like a giant pile of blankets and hay to be moving, standing up on two spindly, clawed legs, and clucking up at the moon.

"It that a… chicken?" Percy blinked.

I nodded mutely, staring up at the giant chicken preening itself in the corner, ruffling its feathers and starting to squawk. Again, not what I expected at all.

"Should we run?" Percy didn't seem to know whether to laugh or be serious.

The chicken ended up making that decision for him. It caught sight of us, cocking its head to the side and letting out an angry caw, scratching the ground and spreading its wings, feathers ruffling in a threatening manner.

"Yes!" I barked, grabbing his hand and rushing for the shadows.

We made a mad dash for the darkness, the giant poultry giving a war cry and flapping towards us. Yep, just another typical day in the life of a demigod.

 **A Recipe For Disaster-Greatest Danger In the Universe**

Okay, so if the last part of our 'quest' had been the worst anxiety wise and had the greatest probability of me being turned into corn or a hibiscus or something, then this one was the part that had the greatest potential for getting us horribly, insanely, and mercilessly killed.

The compound was quiet as Percy and I snuck in, careful to stick to the shadows this time and to not make a noise as we navigated the various rows and aisles. Even Percy seemed to realize how serious this part was, staying dead quiet as we maneuvered our way around. I wasn't entirely sure why we were here this time, I wasn't even sure what we were after, but I knew it was going to be bad news.

"I don't think this is a good idea!" I whispered.

Percy whirled around and put a finger to his lips, giving a panicked look, glancing over at the door at the other end of the room, both of us holding our breath for a few very long seconds before he finally let it out and went back on the move.

This was not going to end well. We were messing with vengeful characters with powerful allies. If we got caught there would be no escaping their retribution, it would not end well. We should have just approached them the normal way, actually tried talking to them, but Percy wasn't willing to risk them saying no. He had to get the final piece of the puzzle.

Whatever that was.

Percy held up his hand, pointing to the corner of the room and smiling widely, before pointing me over to the wall, motioning for me to grab a pair of gardener's shears. I nodded silently and stalked over, cautiously prying them off the wall and handing them to him.

He slowly opened them up and walked over to the small bush in the corner, working fast and quietly, snipping the silver luminescent blossoms from their stems.

I spent the whole time bouncing on my heels, feeling the pressure build inside me. One false move was all it would take and everything would go down in flames. Hurry up Percy, we had to go!

Percy snipped a final flower, and turned back to me holding up the prize in triumph when the lights suddenly snapped on. We froze, hearts stopping in our chests as we glanced to the other side of the Demeter Cabin Greenhouse.

Calypso and Katie Gardner were in the doorway, both looking confused and lost.

"Percy? What are you guys doing here at this time of night? Is everything alright?" Katie asked.

Calypso noticed the shears and glanced over to the plant we had just pruned. "Is that my Moonlace?"

We stayed quiet and frozen for another half second before we both freaked out, screaming and sending the girls stepping back, wide eyed and shocked.

"It's all his fault, I swear I had nothing to do with it!" I shouted, pointing a finger at Percy.

"Mission compromised, abort, abort! Every man for himself!" Percy hollered, dashing out of the greenhouse as fast as he could go.

I leapt into the shadows before anything could happen, emerging to tackle Percy to the ground, rolling and sprinting ahead while he raced to catch up.

"They're going to kill us! And then when Reyna finds out we stole from her girlfriend she's going to get her army and kill us again!" I shouted back, running for my cabin.

"You think I don't know? Why do you think I had an accomplice, when they come after me I can trip you up and buy myself some time!"

Note to the wise; never mess with the Demeter Cabin or Calypso. Not even the Stolls are dumb enough to do that. You don't want to know why. And if you do, use your imagination. Let me tell you, it is not a pretty picture.

But at least we were done. Well, at least with the first part. Now it was time for the next most dangerous part of the mission. Time to get the show on the road.

 **A Recipe For Disaster-Surprise!**

Percy and I stood outside the door, waiting expectantly for our informant to let us in. We'd been up all night getting ready for this moment. With all the ingredients Percy and I had gathered, along with all the ones he'd collected himself, Hazel had been able to make it all come together, ready for us to do with as we would.

And so when morning came, we'd sped to New York, creeping in before dawn. We'd made our way to the apartment building, ready for the final part of the quest, the big confrontation. At least that's the way it seemed. I felt nervous and fidgety, feeling like I had too many limbs. I wasn't ready for this. What if I messed up, what if I did something stupid and screwed up my life forever and ever?

Percy picked up on my angst and gave me a steadying smile, nodding before turning back to the door. A second later, our informant quietly undid the latch and motioned for us to come in. The smells of fresh bacon, French toast, and eggs wafted out as we came in, staying as silent as we could.

"Is everything ready?" Percy asked, holding our concoction in his hands expectantly.

Paul nodded, giving our prize an approving look before grabbing a breakfast tray and taking a deep breath.

"Alright gentlemen. We've been working on this for months. I know we all have personal stakes in this, and the costs have been high, but we all know it's worth it. Who's ready to end this until next year?"

We all gave a silent cheer and charged quietly down the hall, slowly opening the door at the end of the hallway and creeping into the master bedroom. There she was, fast asleep in bed, the final challenge of the day. I wanted to run and hide, to disappear. I was going to mess this up, I just knew it, something was going to go wrong, I had to get out now!

Too late, Paul and Percy were already taking deep breaths.

"Happy mother's day!" We all cheered, flipping the lights on.

Sally Jackson jumped, sitting up in bed wide eyed. Her surprise turned to joy, a smile lighting up on her face as she saw us.

"Oh, you guys…" She cooed as we moved in.

Paul set the tray down on her lip and gave her a quick, chaste kiss before setting himself down beside her. Percy held out our prize; a three decker, triple coated, blue velvet chocolate cake. He had scoured the whole mythical world to find the perfect ingredients. I'd only managed to help out with the last few, the Stymphalian bird eggs, the blueberry ambrosia extract dye from Medea, and the purest flour and sugar from Demeter.

"Percy." She grinned, setting the cake down at her bedside and pulling him in for a deep hug.

"Happy mother's day mom." He beamed, hugging her tight.

I just kind of stood there awkwardly, hoping she wouldn't notice me. She was having a moment with the two most important people in her life, people who had gone through all kinds of trouble to get her amazing presents. Well, Paul hadn't announced his present yet. Percy had said it was some kind of trip to Sweden or something, I hadn't really been paying attention. She didn't need me ruining it.

My hopes of disappearing vanished when Percy turned back to me saying "Nico got you something too."

All eyes turned to me and I felt my face heat up. I managed a weak smile and held out a small bouquet of Moonlace flowers and a gift card to her favorite restaurant. It definitely wasn't much, not when compared to everything else.

I gave a surprised cry when Sally leaned up and pulled me in for a hug, not knowing what to do as she embraced me.

"Thank you so much Nico, this means a lot." She whispered in my ear, pulling away to smile. All I could do was just nod, feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

Percy pulled me into his lap and sat down on the bed, eagerly telling the tale of how he'd gone around to get her the perfect gift and how he'd pitched in to work with Paul on where to take her, Sally exclaiming how she had the best three men in the world.

Three men. She was adding me into that. I was part of her world. I was dazed the whole time, just smiling awkwardly, yet genuinely over at her. I was part of the family. This really was the best feeling in the whole wide world. This is what I'd been missing out on. And now I had it.

Before we finally left hours later I had to give her one last hug, holding on tight and fighting back tears.

"Thank you. For everything. Without you there wouldn't be a Percy and if he wasn't a part of my life…" I didn't finish the sentence.

And I didn't need to. Sally just smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"Well he'll always be a part of your life. And so will I. I'm getting used to having you around kiddo. You make Percy happy, and Percy… He's the light for me. You two together though… I think you've got something special here."

I glanced back at Percy, then back to Sally, beaming proudly.

"I do. I have all of you. I have a family. Thank you, so much."

Sally just smiled, giving me one last hug. "Welcome to the family Nico. We've waited a long time."

And then I did cry. Because after years of searching, I was certain once again, that I'd found my family. I'd never be lonely again, I'd never fall away.

This was my happy ending.

 **A Recipe For Disaster- One More Thing**

"Where are we going Percy?" I groaned, trying to keep up with the Son of Poseidon.

He'd taken us through one of Hecate's magic portals, calling in a favor or something to get us to Italy and back, and was currently leading me down a deserted street. Percy ignored my question and moved on, hesitating for a moment before ducking down a side street.

He'd been like this the whole time, refusing to answer any of my questions as he led me through the city, trying to find something. What that was though, I had no clue.

Percy finally slowed to a stop at a break in a nearby wall, standing strangely still as he looked in. He glanced over to me, a guarded expression on his face.

"What is it?" I asked, tensing up as I felt death in the air.

Percy just turned back to the break and started walking in, heading down a path. I frowned and followed after him, hesitating as I took a few steps in. It was a cemetery. Various tombstones and mausoleums littered the yard, a maze of paths and arches leading around the hallowed space.

Why did Percy bring me here? I followed after him, unsure as he kept up with the twists and turns, scanning the names and shaking his head, trying to find one in particular. The place felt different than other cemeteries, the dead didn't seem to linger, yet there was an overwhelming presence, a sad, mourning loss that overtook everything else. When he finally stopped, it was in front of the largest mausoleum in the cemetery.

It was built of black marble and intricate columns with dark iron, armored, yet beautiful angels standing guard at its corners, protecting the dead within. The face of the structure was flat and smooth, with the deceased's name and Italian words foiled in gold onto the surface.

My heart stopped when I read the name Maria Di Angelo staring back out at me from the pristine marble.

"I couldn't talk Hades into letting you see her." Percy said hoarsely, keeping his eyes on my face "He said it wasn't the right time, and that it wouldn't work. But he did tell me where this was. He took her home after Zeus…" He trailed off, realizing I was still staring at the mausoleum.

This was my mom's. This was her final resting place. Spirit or no spirit, this was where the only member of my family I could remember was hidden, the only one I could even try to reach apart from dad. I took a few cautious steps forward, reaching out hesitantly, drawing back, and then putting my hand on the stone.

For a second nothing happened. And then the presence of the cemetery seemed to shift, that mourning turning into joy. The smell of spice and cinnamon took over, and my memory burned as I saw my mother's face again, smiling down on me.

" _I will always love you_." She had whispered to me.

And she did.

More tears came out, the second time I'd cried today. Gods I was a mess wasn't I? I hadn't cried since Valentine's Day, I was supposed to be the tough guy here, and yet here I was doing it again. But who cared about any of that? This was… amazing.

Two families in one day. I'd never imagined I'd ever get even one, but now?

Percy walked forward, pulling out the last stock of Moonlace and placing it gently at the steps of the mausoleum while still keeping his distance.

"Thank you." He whispered, giving a nod or respect.

" _He's a keeper_." I could hear mom whisper, a wink of mischief in her eyes.

I made a weak smile, giving mom's grave one more look. It was time to go, it told me. I had what I needed now. I turned back, trying to wipe the tears away.

"You alright?" Percy asked concerned, leaning in to look in my eyes.

I sniffled and nodded happily, entwining our hands and looking back one more time.

"I couldn't be happier. I've got two moms who love me, a family that'll never leave me. And then I have you. I've finally got it all."

I was wrong. I'd been happy earlier today. But when we walked away that day I, I knew I'd really found what I needed.

This was my happy ending with Percy. Thanks mom. Happy Mother's day.

* * *

 **Happy Mother's day y'all! Hope you all enjoy! Have a fantastic morning/day/night!**


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